Thursday, July 18, 2013

The Light of Shadows

Some of you may know this.  Some not.  But we have been trying to have a second child for quite a while.  For some reason, most couples keep this kind of thing a secret.  While the details are obviously a private matter, the support that somebody needs during a time like this shouldn't be.  I never understood why people would want to keep hidden their struggles - whether it's a miscarriage, a job loss, or a divorce - we all fall down occasionally.   But isn't that why all of you are reading this?  Isn't that why we blog or facebook?  It's because we needs friends and family; a support network to keep cheering us on so we don't lose hope.

The reason for today's post is because I found out today that - yet again - I'm not pregnant.  But here's the beautiful dichotomy.  While I'm on one side of a door trying to hold it together; trying not to end up sobbing on the bathroom floor, my daughter is on the other side of the door vibrating with excitement.

That's because, for Emma, today is the best day in the world.  Today Emma went an entire night in actual "big girl" panties with no accidents.  She is over-the-moon with pride and practically ambushed me when I woke up this morning.  She was so excited to tell me about this important milestone in her life.  It's also her last day of swimming lessons and she's determined to "swim" today.  She feels empowered.  She has no idea that she just lost the chance for a little brother or sister again.  She has no idea that mommy and daddy are tremendously sad.

In her little world everything is bright and shiny and perfect.

So I guess the lesson here is that there's always hope and a positive perspective.  There's always a silver lining.  Or I guess more specifically, there has to be light in order to make shadows.  It's not always easy to find that light.  Especially for me.  I am definitely a pessimist.  (Although we pessimists always swear that we're actually just all realists *wink*).  Therefore, I figured I would put this out there.  I figured I would share and see what you all have to say.  I know we're not the only people going through something like this and I think it's silly for us all to be suffering alone in shaded corners.

What's your story?  What shadows are you struggling with right now too?  Let's pool our candles together and make something bigger and brighter.

1 comment:

  1. Carina,

    Don't put so much stress on yourself. Once you relax you will be blessed. Stress and pressure prolong the result. Take a step back and breathe. It will happen in God's time.